Gypsy Gold Does Not Chink or Glitter: Fantastical Horses:

My post on the types of ‘so-called’ dragons and other fantastical reptilian creatures was well-received so I thought I’d do a series of posts devoted to the various traditional creatures of fantasy. If you missed it, please do stop by A Dragon By Any Other Name.

This is the second post of this series, devoted to fantastical equines of all kinds. I admitted to being a crazy dragon lady. I’m also a little bit of a crazy horse lady. Of course, it’s much easier for me to find a horse to ride than a dragon, although I think I would prefer the latter. Some of the horse’s fantasy cousins, though, are not so easy to find. 

So here are the equines of the fantasy world!

Gypsy Vanner

Horse

Yes, the good old horse often features in fantasy. It is a common means of transport, often the fastest short of magic. For some fantasy cultures, the horse is of pre-eminent importance. As the Claddagh Gypsies of Galway, Ireland, say "Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter...it gleams in the sun and neighs in the dark" and this is often true of many fantasy cultures as well. Check out this Gypsy Vanner horse! I. Want. Of course if I had one, it would need to be my gold because I would sure be poor. To import one of these to Australia will set you back about A$20,000. It’s a little cheaper to buy one here but we don’t have many breeders yet. 

Unicorn

Traditionally depicted as a horse’s body, with a spiralled ivory-type horn, hairy fetlocks, cloven feet, a beard and a lion’s tail. Surprisingly, it was very difficult to find a picture of this old-school type unicorn (hence the slightly cartoony image we have here). 

Traditional unicorn in the heraldic style

The unicorn has more recently morphed into a more typical horse, with a horn on its head. Sometimes the beard or the cloven hooves remain, and often the hairy fetlocks - after all, feathers on a horse’s feet are beautiful! Just check out the feathering on the Gypsy Vanner above! I wouldn’t want to be washing it though... The lion’s tail often seems to be ditched in favour of a more traditional horse’s tail. I suppose it makes the unicorn more aesthetically pleasing. 

Traditionally unicorns were always white, associated with purity and thus could only be lured by a virgin. These days you will often find black unicorns as well. I admit to being partial to this variety. Pretty…

Belief in unicorns was widespread among historians, alchemists, writers, poets, naturalists, physicians, and theologians until the 19^th century. As such it was a part of their natural history and not mythology! It was described as an extremely wild woodland creature. 

Its horn, and the substance it was made of, is called alicorn and was said to have the power to render poisoned water potable and to heal sickness. Alleged alicorns were probably the tusks of narwhals.

The unicorn is depicted in heraldry in its traditional form. It was popular from the 15th century. Though sometimes shown collared, it is more usually with a broken chain attached, showing that it has broken free from its bondage and cannot be taken again.

White and black unicorns feature in Terry Brooks’s ‘Kingdom of Landover’ series. 

More modern unicorn

Pegasus

A horse with wings. Also usually white but now also seen in other colours and varieties. I even found a paint Pegasus while looking for this picture. The fantasy pegasus is based on the Greek myth of Pegasus, who was a winged divine horse, usually white in colour. He was sired by Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea, in his role as horse-god, and foaled by Medusa. Pegasus is a friend of the Muses – and perhaps, therefore, also a friend to writers? He can be my friend!

Pegasus was captured by the Greek hero, Bellerophon. Pegasus allows Bellerophon to ride him to defeat the Chimera (the subject of a later post). Later, while trying to reach Mount Olympus, Bellerophon falls off Pegasus’s back and Zeus transforms him into the constellation Pegasus. 

Pegasus

The plural of pegasus (in the fantasy context obviously, because there was only one Pegasus) is pegasi.

I have used pegasi in my book The Blood Infernal. They are in fact genetically corrupted horses. For the most part their wings are stunted and they are flightless. Pure horses have almost ceased to exist and their bloodlines are jealously guarded. The Rohmani (descendants of our Romany) have traded their gypsy horses for flighted pegasi and breed and own some of the most amazing flight-capable pegasi. 

  

Winged unicorn

Kind of self-explanatory. Typically modelled on the horse-like unicorn, not the heraldic unicorn. As far as I know this one has no mythical origins beyond the fact it is a fantastical hybrid of the mythical Pegasus and the unicorn. She-Ra, Princess of Power, rode Swift Wind, who was a flying unicorn. I desperately wanted one of these when I was a little girl!

Disturbingly, a Google search of ‘flying unicorn’ produced a search result I didn’t know, could have done without knowing, and which certainly isn’t suitable for this blog or any conversation involving children’s cartoons. 

Winged unicorn

Centaur

A human/horse hybrid, featuring the body of a horse and a human from the waist up. The centaur is the subject of Greek and Roman mythology. The exact origins of the myth is unknown but the most common theory is that the idea of centausr originated when the Greeks, a non-riding culture first encountered nomads mounted on horses i.e. that to such a non-riding culture, horsemen would appear as a hybrid man/horse creature. A similar misapprehension by the Aztecs about Spanish horsemen has been historically reported. 

Male and female centaurs

Female centaurs appear later in Greek mythology. The proper term for a female centaur was Kentaurides and they rate a mention in Shakespeare’s King Lear. 

 

The starsign, Sagittarius the Archer, is represented as a centaur. When Chiron, the centaur, was mistakenly killed by Hercules, Zeus gave him this place among the stars. Centaurs feature in Harry Potter and the Chronicles of Narnia. 

I have also used centaurs in my book The Blood Infernal. They live in an isolated forest and only appear to come in the female variety. I basically took the mermaid myth – often there are no mermen and mermaids capture sailors in order to make more mermaids – and used it with centaurs. There is a reason, being that it challenges the protagonist’s prudish ways and beliefs. 

While I don’t have as many unicorn statues as I have dragons, I admit to owning a few. People just seem to keep buying this stuff for me… Honest! Now I just need to add a Pegasus and a centaur….

The obligatory dragon...

You can find other posts in mythical creatures series here - Dragons, Creatures of the Sky, Mythical Creatures of the Sea - Part 1 and Part 2, and Spirits of Inland Waterways. 

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to check out my previous posts if you haven't already. If you're finding yourself here often, you might like to join as a member, sign up to the blog through RSS or email, or subscribe to my newsletter.

Don't forget to share the love and spread the word on Twitter, Facebook or StumbleUpon (or other social networking site of your choice) if you know other people who might also enjoy this.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting with us!

Six Sentence Sunday: Dragon Bait

Today, an extract from Dragon Bait.

Fresh light spilled into the garden below from the spreading flames. Within moments, a sheet of red dragonfire engulfed the wall, flickering in eerie silence. The stone melted to slag within its shroud. The monastery’s inhabitants wailed in the distance. The dragon was quiet. Choking ash smothered the usual heady scent of blooms.  

You can find more Six Sentence Sunday writers here.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to check out my previous posts if you haven't already. If you're finding yourself here often, you might as well join as a member, or sign up through RSS or email! 

Don't forget to share the love and spread the word on Twitter, Facebook or StumbleUpon (or other social networking site of your choice) if you know other people who might also enjoy this. 

Thanks for stopping by and visiting with us!

Death Will Not Hold Me Down: A Tribute to Robert Jordan

Robert Jordan. Where can I possibly start?

Robert Jordan was the pen name of James Oliver Rigney, Jr., under which he was best known as the author of the bestselling The Wheel of Time fantasy series. According to the author bio inside his books, he taught himself to read at age three and was reading Mark Twain at five (or something like that – my books are in storage!). That has always impressed me. 

Robert Jordan

I was eleven when I first encountered the work of Robert Jordan. That’s right, eleven. At that time (1992) there were four books available in his Wheel of Time series, with the fifth, The Fires of Heaven released around that time or shortly after. Now, in 2011, aged 30, I am still awaiting the conclusion to The Wheel of Time. That makes me a fan of The Wheel of Time for two-thirds of my life. If you’ve been a fan for a greater proportion of your life, please leave a comment to let me know you’re out there!

The Wheel of Time was one of the things I shared with my Dad as I grew up. We read the same books and of course the epic proportions of The Wheel of Time loaned itself to the wasting of many hours discussing the multitudinous possible outcomes, guessing at the identities of villains reborn, villains concealed, the identities of prophesied heroes, and the love lives of the many characters. I still remember wandering down a dirt track on horseback speculating about the revelations to be had in the next book.

I know some people tired of the story, either because it was too big, or too complex, or just dragged on for too long. But I never did. Was it my age? A child’s endless fascination or the ability of my brain at that age to grasp and keep up with the many plots, subplots, tangents and secrets?

I don’t know but I love the books and I don’t see that ever changing. I have lost count of the number of times I have read them. As a general rule, I reread them every time a new book comes out. There are thirteen books and there were four when I started, which means I have read some of these books as many as nine times. It’s probably more, because for a while there I would reread them every year and it was about two years between books. 

As a writer, I am in awe of Robert Jordan’s sweeping epic. To write a story of that complexity on such a grand scale boggles the mind. Although there have been many criticisms of his writing (particularly over-detailed attention to irrelevant scenes), credit is due just for the sheer scale, complexity and genius of the story alone. I could not conceive of imagining a story of such reach and scope. My modest aspirations include only a six book series, which is technically two connected trilogies. Fourteen books? This is the point where I feel I should get down on my knees and worship.

The Wheel of Time turns...

It is true that fourteen books could be fourteen books of crap but it’s not. Robert Jordan gets credit just for keeping his stories straight. And while his technical writing could maybe have done with a brush-up, there are many other elements of genius. Like the moment of awe you get when you realise a revelation in book ten, for example, was foreshadowed four books earlier. There are plot twists and secrets, the foundations for which were laid in the very roots of this story, that aren’t revealed for many books. 

And that’s maybe where my awe really lies. To write a simple, straightforward story that spans fourteen books is one thing. To write a story as complex as this, with so many secrets, plots, misdirections, prophecies, players and vested interests, is something else again. The words even escape me to describe the sheer complexity of this tale. If you’ve read it, you don’t need me to tell you. Love it or hate it, I don’t think you can deny the work that went into keeping the story straight.

Someone once said to me they didn’t believe Robert Jordan knew where his story was headed, that he didn’t know where it would end. 

They were wrong. 

On March 23, 2006, Robert Jordan announced he had been diagnosed with cardiac amyloidosis and that with treatment his median life expectancy was four years. Though he said he intended to beat the statistics, he died on September 16, 2007.

He spent the last weeks of his life dictating all the major plot points and twists in the remaining volume (later decided to be split in three) of The Wheel of Time. In other words, he dedicated his last time on this earth to ensuring that someone would have everything they needed to finish The Wheel of Time the way it had always been intended. Clearly he knew exactly where his story was going. 

I also don’t believe a story this complicated could have held together if he didn’t know how it would end and how to get there. I believe, when we learn how it ends, we will discover it was foreshadowed in the very first books. His blood on the rocks of Shayol Ghul... If you’re a reader, you know what I mean. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about how that will turn out. For the record, I don’t believe Rand will die (or at least, not die and stay dead). What do you think?

Did Robert Jordan dedicate his last hours to preserving his story because he couldn’t stand the idea of leaving such an epic work unfinished? Dedication to his fans? I don’t presume to know. Maybe it was a bit of both. But only death could part this writer from his passion. 

I still remember the day of his death, when I learned he had passed away. It was a shock to the system. I don’t presume to say I was as grief-stricken as his family, or as grief-stricken as I would be about my own family. It would presumptuous to say the least if I were to assert that. But I definitely felt that someone I knew was gone and they weren’t coming back. I had shared, at this point, The Wheel of Time journey for fifteen years. It was akin, I suppose, to learning that your local baker, or doctor, someone you had known since you were a child, had died. I even went so far as to shed a tear. 

It was a profound moment. And of course, though many mourned his passing, I am sure the next question on the lips of many was what would happen to The Wheel of Time? 

Fortunately the decision was made to have someone else finish it using the notes and details Robert Jordan had left. The man chosen was Brandon Sanderson and a fine choice it was. Though I can clearly see the difference in the writing styles, the characters have been executed true to themselves. I don’t read the books thinking ‘But if Robert Jordan had written it he would have done this.’ 

Two books have been completed by Brandon Sanderson and he is working on the last book now. I can hardly wait though I wonder what my life will be like without the next Wheel of Time book to anticipate. I have been doing it for so long you see. 

But to the memory of Robert Jordan – a toast. A great mind and a great man have gone, a genius I dare not aspire to match. But it is clear that while he was here he loved his writing and his worlds with a fierce passion. 

Most of all, I thank him for being generous enough to take us along for the ride. He is one of my greatest influences.

Would I be a different person if The Wheel of Time never existed?

A dragon, Wheel of Time style, as depicted on the banner of Lews Therin Telamon

  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to check out my previous posts if you haven't already. If you're finding yourself here often, you might as well join as a member, or sign up through RSS or email! Don't forget to share the love and spread the word of this post on Twitter, Facebook or StumbleUpon (or other social networking site of your choice) if you know other people who might also enjoy this.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting with us!

Six Sentence Sunday #6

Another extract from Deathhawk's Betrayal. For those who don't know, Deathhawk's Betrayal is currently under consideration by a publisher as I had a request for a partial at the Speculative Fiction Festival in Sydney two weeks ago.

Astarl picked her way down the beach in the pre-dawn glow. The first shaft of sunlight had not yet broken the horizon, leaving the soft susurration of waves in darkness and the sand of the beach a pale smudge beneath her feet. The sky to the east glowed with the coming sunrise.

The ghost, if that was what it was, she left where she had woken. It had been so useless to scream, though she didn’t know what else she might have done. You couldn’t fight a ghost, or a disembodied voice, or your own insanity, whichever foe it was she faced.

You can find more Six Sentence Sunday writers here.

 

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to check out my previous posts if you haven't already. If you're finding yourself here often, you might as well join as a member, or sign up through RSS or email! Don't forget to share the love and spread the word of this post on Twitter, Facebook or StumbleUpon (or other social networking site of your choice) if you know other people who might also enjoy this. 

Thanks for stopping by and visiting with us!

Living Dangerously: Interview with an Assassin

So I haven’t been around much this week, not on Twitter, and not here – in fact this is my first blog since Sunday, which is not normal. I did guest post earlier in the week over at Bump On A Log, courtesy of @amberrisme (thanks Amberr!) about my travels in Cape Tribulation, Far North Queensland, Australia, but I must confess I wrote that months ago and sent it to Amberr a week or more ago now. If you missed it, you can find it here – CapeTribulation: Where the Rainforest Meets the Reef.

Out at the Great Barrier Reef, Cape Tribulation, Queensland, Australia

 The reason for my absence is mostly the workshop on book trailers I’ve been doing for the last fortnight. This week we started assembling our book trailer, so I had to spend a lot of time on the internet looking for pictures and music and then assembling them until I found something I liked. Watch this space for the finished product!

Anyway, today I’m here with Astarl, the protagonist in my novel Deathhawk’s Betrayal.  

Ciara: So, Astarl, you’re an assassin. Would you like to tell us something about that?

Astarl: No

Ciara: Uh...no? What do you mean ‘no’?

Astarl: I thought no had the same meaning in your language as mine.

Ciara: No... uh... yes... Dammit, it means the same thing, but this is an interview, you’re supposed to tell us a bit about you.

Astarl: I don’t talk about myself. You know that.

Ciara: Then why did you agree to this interview?

Astarl: I didn’t. You just kind of sprung it on me. Which I’m not happy about by the way. 

Ciara: Alright, alright, do you mind if I tell them a bit about you?

Astarl: As a matter of fact I do mind.

Ciara: Well I have to tell them something about you. Astarl was a child slave and... hey, put that knife down!

Astarl: Only if you promise not to give away my secrets. 

Ciara: How else can they learn about you? And didn’t I tell you not to bring any knives? 

Astarl

Astarl: I didn’t take that seriously because you’re not allowed to play with knives. You might cut yourself, foolish girl. And I don’t go anywhere without my knives, you know that, too. If they want to learn about me, they can read the book. 

Ciara: Enough about the knives. The book’s not published yet. And it might not be in the foreseeable future. Can we talk about Jeharv?

Astarl: I thought you had someone ask to see a, what did you call it? A partial? Isn’t that what you told me?

Ciara: Yes, it's with a publisher at the moment, but we all know the almost certain result of that. Everyone gets rejected at least once. Hey, I’m supposed to be asking the questions! Stop avoiding the issue. So can we discuss Jeharv?

Astarl: Maybe...

Ciara: So he’s your father and he’s dying, right? Maybe you could tell us some more about that?

Astarl: Adoptive father, yes. Jeharv is master of the Order of Nizari, originally a professional spy network for hire, but now branching out into assassination. He took me in when I was thirteen after… well, you know. He took me in and trained me up as one of his first assassins. Now he’s dying from a canker in his lung and we need magic to heal it.

The problem is, the outlaw blood magicians destroyed the Confederacy of Magicians maybe a month ago, so magic’s in short supply at the moment. The blood magicians charge too high – even an assassin balks at selling his soul – and the few surviving Confederates we’ve found have been uncooperative.

The last one I tried to persuade killed himself rather than talk to me. That’s a new one even for me. I’ve had people beg for mercy but I’ve never had one kill himself before I could. In this case I had no intention of killing him at all. 

Ciara: Selling of souls? These blood magicians sound nasty! I feel sorry for that poor Confederate… Don’t look at me like that! So, Jeharv is an assassin, but you love him… would you describe him as a good man then? 

Astarl: Not particularly. It’s complicated. 

Ciara: I should hope so.

Astarl: There’s no such thing as a good man, look at what they’ve done to me. All men deserve death even Jeharv. He’s just the only one who ever did anything good for me for no reason except that I asked. 

Ciara: All men deserve death… don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? 

Astarl: Really? After everything I’ve been through? Would you feel any differently?

Ciara: Um, well, OK you might have a point. So basically Jeharv gave you a gift? Not a bunch of flowers, I’m sure. Maybe a knife? You seem well-attached to the ones you’ve got. Dare I ask how many you’re carrying right now?

Astarl: Eleven, including six throwing blades. 

Ciara: My lord, where do you hide them? Never mind, you’re distracting me again, back to Jeharv. 

Astarl: He had the practice of slavery outlawed in my home kingdom, even though it wasn’t necessarily in his own interests. 

Ciara: Well… OK, that is big, kind of says a lot more than a bunch of roses. I can see how that would be important to you, seeing as how you were a child slave and… OK, put away the knife! 

Astarl: Stop trying to tell them about my childhood.

Ciara: But… OK, OK, I get the point… ha ha pun intended. Now please just put it away? Thank you.

Astarl: Only because I like you. 

Ciara: Really? I never would have guessed. 

Astarl: You can’t use a knife to save yourself but you got balls.

Ciara: Gee… thanks, I think. Anyway, so where are you off to now? 

Astarl: The duchy of Abasynia in Elnisya. It’s far north from here, tropical. The dead magician did some work on an item a few years ago that belonged to the duke. Not sure it’s still there, not sure I can find it if it is. We don’t even know what it looks like and the duke’s a bit mad. But it’s the only lead we’ve got. It was made by the caelicolae, you know, the Elder Races, though not sure if it was the Kindara or the Syldam. They sure pack a magical punch though so anything they made ought to do the job. Of course, people also don’t leave that kind of stuff lying around unguarded. Are we about done here? Jeharv’s dying you know. 

Aldenon, healer at Castle Abasynia

 Ciara: OK, one last question. I’ve heard Aldenon, the healer at Castle Abasynia, is pretty hot. 

Astarl: I wouldn’t know and I don’t really care. I try to have as little to do with men as possible.

Ciara: Ouch, shot down in flames… Well I do care, so send me a sketch, yeah? Or even a watercolour. It’s not like the Order of Nizari can’t afford it. Best of luck on your mission and thanks for stopping by. 

Wow, did I really just wish one assassin luck in healing another assassin? It seemed appropriate to say something convivial before I became more closely acquainted with the blasted woman’s knives than I already was. Did you hear that? Eleven knives. The only one I saw was the one she drew on me! I expect she can probably nail a man with a throwing knife at ten paces, too, or something like that. Whatever a pace is. 

 

Anyway, that was Astarl, the protagonist of my novel Deathhawk’s Betrayal which sad to say is not currently available. It is, however, under consideration by a publisher here in Australia. I’m sure I’ll update you as soon as I have either good or bad news on that front. Self-publishing is something I might consider in the future but since I have some interest from the traditional publishers I’ll pursue that avenue first. 

I’ve also just found out that I won some character artwork in the Character Competition running on Imran Siddiq’s website Imran Writes, so that might be something else for me to share with you in the future, together with my book trailer!

Don’t forget to stop by and check out my guest post – Cape Tribulation: Where the Rainforest Meets the Reef.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to check out my previous posts if you haven't already. If you're finding yourself here often, you might as well join as a member, or sign up through RSS or email! Don't forget to share the love and spread the word of this post on Twitter, Facebook or StumbleUpon (or other social networking site of your choice) if you know other people who might also enjoy this. 

Thanks for stopping by and visiting with us!

Six Sentence Sunday #5

We return to my novel Deathhhawk's Betrayal.

‘I didn’t? I didn’t what? Do what I needed to survive when you betrayed me? While you were screwing some trumped up marquis playing at bounty hunter, I was dying. And now what, you crawl home to whelp his brat, thinking there’d be nothing here but my bones?’

Taking a deep breath, Astarl drew herself up in the face of Jeharv’s tirade.

 You can find more Six Sentence Sunday writers here.
   

D.C. McMillen's Friday Spotlight with Ciara Ballintyne

In case you missed it, I was interviewed by erotica author D.C McMillen in her Friday Spotlight feature. If you'd like to learn more about me, including my oddest quirk, favourite guilty pleasure, and my advice for other writers, check it out here on D.C.'s fabulous blog. 

In the coming weeks I'll be featuring an interview with my very own protagonist, Astarl, of Deathhawk's Betrayal. Uh, if I survive the experience. I'm trying persuade her to leave her knives at home but the negotiations aren't going well. Mostly because, well, you know - she's got knives. You can get a little more up close and personal with Astarl in an excerpt in my Friday Spotlight interview.

Six Sentence Sunday #4

Another excerpt from 'In the Company of the Dead'.

Defenders fought to reclaim the walls. A man screamed as he went over the parapet. Further down, Ellieva scattered attackers, plunging reckless into their midst. She broke the onslaught alone, silver sword flashing red with each stroke. Her black robes billowed like crow’s wings. The men following chanted her name.

 You can find more Six Sentence Sunday writers here.

 

An Introduction to the Discworld: Part 2

If you missed ‘Hear Me, Heretic! An Introduction to The Discworld’ you can find it here. 

Are you desperately hoping Rincewind isn’t a heel? Or do you already know the truth?

Sad to say, our man Rincewind abandons the naïve tourist and makes a bid to flee the city. 

The Discworld

How can the protagonist be such a coward, leave a poor guy in the lurch and yet we, the reader, still identify with him? Indeed, Rincewind is my absolute favourite Discworld character of all time yet I had to stop and consider why when there isn’t a lot I can say to recommend him. 

Rincewind is completely shameless. He knows he not brave or reliable or heroic (which suits him fine, cause you know heroes end up dead on swords or smote by gods, right?) but he makes no apologies for who he is. And I wonder if that’s the key. He’s not evil. He’s just cowardly, but he’s brave enough or honest enough to admit it. He doesn’t pretend to be something he’d not. 

Anyway, Rincewind ends up staying on to help Twoflower out. Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, tells Rincewind that he must stay with Twoflower – on pain of, well, pain. 

It is worth mentioning that the Lord Vetinari we meet in these first two books is a much flatter character than the later, well-rounded Vetinari – who is also infinitely more subtle. The Vetinari of later Discworld books, for example, would never do something so crass as to threaten someone in such blunt terms. He is the master of innuendo and implication. The best Discworld books for a look at Lord Vetinari are the city watch books. Interplay between Vetinari and Sam Vimes is often priceless.

Rincewind’s encounter with Vetinari ends with this exchange, as Vetinari tells Rincewind not to consider fleeing the city as he has advised all the rulers of the neighbouring cities of the situation. 

‘I assure you, the thought never even crossed my mind, my lord.’

‘Indeed? Then if I were you, I’d sue my face for slander.’

A small joke, but a funny one. Or is it only funny to lawyers?

The Luggage

I promised to introduce you to the Luggage in this post. The Luggage is made of a magical wood called sapient pearwood and it is more or less sapient. The box has its own legs and pretty much decides where it goes. It belongs to Twoflower but is inherited by Rincewind. My favourite thing about the Luggage is its homicidal tendencies. 

The lid snapped shut. Gancia vanished.

And just in case Weems thought it was accidental the Luggage’s lid snapped open again, just for a second, and a large tongue as red as mahogany licked across broad teeth as white as sycamore. Then it slammed shut again.

This thing will hunt you down. And it tracks better than a bloodhound.

The other two characters worth a mention are Death, the Librarian and Cohen the Barbarian. 

Death is your typical death – skeleton in a black robe. This is explained on the Discworld as an anthropomorphic personification. Natural forces, like death, essentially become personified. People think death is a skeleton in a black robe, so that’s what he looks like. And he talks LIKE THIS which sounds like crypt doors slamming. Death and Rincewind don’t really get along, mostly on account of Rincewind’s refusal to die. This is a scene where the Disc’s oldest wizard attempts to cheat death by locking himself in a box where Death can’t reach him. 

He has just set the complicated clockwork of the lock and shut the lid, lying back in the knowledge that here at last is the perfect defence against the most ultimate of all his enemies, although as yet he has not considered the important part that airholes must play in an enterprise of this kind.

And right beside him, very close to his ear, a voice has just said: DARK IN HERE, ISN’T IT?

Cohen the Barbarian. Fearsome.

The Librarian is the wizard who runs the library at the wizards university. He is accidentally turned into an orangutan and resist all attempts to be changed back. Just don't use the 'm' word. What m word? Monkey. 

OH SHIT.

Cohen the Barbarian is like Conan the Barbarian, only old… and stringy…. He’s about ninety in the shade and has no teeth. An old barbarian is very good at his job. You can tell because he’s not dead yet, see?

So now that you’ve met the characters, what’s the story about? You already know that Rincewind has been instructed to keep Twoflower alive, in the interests of avoiding international conflict between the city of Ankh-Morpork and the very old, powerful Agatean Empire. This is complicated by the fact Twoflower has no sense of self-preservation at all. 

Things come to a head when a red star growing in the sky signals the end of the world – unless the Eight Great Spells can all be spoken at the right time. The problem is, one of them is missing, hiding in Rincewind’s head. This is the reason he is such a failed wizard. He’s never been able to memorise another spell because ordinary, garden variety spells are too afraid to stay in his head with a Great spell. The other wizards know where the missing Great Spell is and are determined to hunt Rincewind down. Not all of them have the best intentions.

Don’t even mention the fact that the fate of the world rests on Rincewind’s shoulders. He doesn’t want to know. Someone else can have the job. 

It’s a fun ride and things only get better from here!

Lord Vetinari. Maybe this is why I had trouble finding dates?

As a matter of interest, you can find various Discworld quizzes on the web that will tell you which Discworld character/s you are most like.I’ve done this previously but I forget the results so I just did it again and here are my results:

You Scored as Lord Havelock Vetinari

You are Lord Vetinari! Supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork! Cool, calculated, and always in control. You graduated from the assassins guild, but failed a course on stealth and camouflage, because the professor never saw you there (even though you attended every class). You always seem to know what everyone is thinking, and after a conversation with you, people feel that they have just escaped certain death.

Lord Havelock Vetinari

75%

Carrot Ironfounderson

56%

Death

56%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax

56%

Greebo

50%

I find the results slightly worrying. Carrot is an anomaly in there with all those other characters, but that’s my sense of honour coming out. 

If you’d like to know who you are, check it out here! 

All quotes are from The Colour of Magic and the Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

There's A Black Hole In My Parent's Backyard

I am guest blogging today at Simon Tall's blog. Simon Tall is a lovely (you guessed it) tall English writer…amongst other things… He can be contacted in the Twitterverse: @simonpoore.

My post is titled 'There's A Black Hole In My Parent's Backyward'. This is more properly science fiction than fantasy, but hey, there's a bit of overlap between genres. I am not averse to a little science-fiction myself.

If you're a little confused about genre definitions and which genre you read (is this high fantasy or urban fantasy? Oh hell, it's all just fantasy!) you might like to check out the list of genre definitions compiled by my friend D.C. McMillen here.

And here is today's obligatory dragon. Isn't he cute?

Look out for Part 2 of the Introduction to the Discworld later this week to find out if Rincewind really is a heel.