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Sunday 20 May 2012

Six Sentence Sunday – Not Where He Can See


 An extract from a 5000 word short story I’m working on – my third for the month and still ahead of schedule. Here’s hoping it stays that way! Had feedback on the first two stories from my writer’s group yesterday, so time to revise, finalise and submit them.Hopefully I can get them published somewhere and you can have the pleasure of reading the whole story!
The queen seized his elbow hard, leaving bloody fingerprints on his white shirt. ‘Berkh.’
That one word contained unfathomable emotion and entreaty, both a plea and a command. Old guilt welled up.
‘Not here, not where my brother might see.’ Berkh wrenched his arm from her grip.
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5 comments:

Jess Schira said...

Love it! Nice dialogue and good emotion.

Laura Kaye said...

Good conflict and emotion!

Ciara Ballintyne said...

 thanks! there's so much more going on here than I could possibly show in six sentences so I had to settle for this sliver.

Ciara Ballintyne said...

 Thanks! I wish I could have shown what's really going on.

Ciara Ballintyne said...

 thanks! there's so much more going on here than I could possibly show in six sentences so I had to settle for this sliver.

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