Another
excerpt from my short story ‘Better Left Unspoken’. The story wasn’t working and I couldn’t
quite work out why, so I’ve done a GMC chart and now, of course, I have to do
significant revisions. Serves me right. This should stay, though.
Dirt floor, rocky uncut stone wall. Blue sky, hammering sun. The strange clacking continued unabated out of sight. Rope cut tight into Berkh’s wrists and ankles as he tried to turn his head.A scream bubbled up his throat. Eyes bulging, he clamped his teeth shut against it.
You
can find more Six Sentence Sunday writers here.
In
other news, I’ve sent ‘Love Enough’ to Tor.com for consideration. Hopefully
I’ll have a response before I have a second baby. Their response time is 9
months, and I’m not pregnant yet, so it’s even-odds!
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17 comments:
Very tense six! Loved the short, abbreviated sentences of description! Great job.
Best wishes on Tor.com - I'd love to see them publish Love Enough.
Very unforgiving, and I haven't even mentioned the worst of it yet!
Quite! Thanks :-)
Thanks, he's disoriented, so I was trying to convey some of that in the way he's perceiving his surroundings.
Now you've piqued my interest - nice 6 sentences!
Thanks Helen :-) This story is giving me a headache at the moment because of the rewrites but this scene at least has no major problems!
Wow, as usual, six sentences is not enough. Lure us in and leave us hanging, why don't ya? :-)
Of course, what else is Six Sentence Sunday for? If you don't want more, I haven't done my job properly :-)
Thanks, me too! If they say no, I'll just try somewhere else though :-)
Thanks, he's disoriented, so I was trying to convey some of that in the way he's perceiving his surroundings.
Thanks, definitely wanted to create the right mood for this.
Tense, really portrays the bad situation he's gotten into. Terrific six!
Ouch. Someone's in a bad situation. Very visual. :)
Sounds like he's in quite an unforgiving place, in all kinds of ways! Very vivid six.
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