Many of the Discworld books mirror (or parody) our world (if
you’re not familiar with the Discworld see here and here). The Last
Continent, for example, is laugh at Australia and some of our history, food
and traditions. But that’s OK because we Aussies are so laid-back we’re
horizontal and quite capable of having a laugh at ourselves. Anyway, a lot of
it is true and there’s no denying the truth, right?
The Hogfather is the Discworld’s answer to Christmas.
You might have seen it listed in the 12 Blogs of Christmas: Books. I could also have listed it in 12 Blogsof Christmas: Favourite Holiday Movies because they made a TV movie, but I chose
not to, for variety.
The Hogfather is a
big, fat man in a red suit who delivers toys in a sleigh pulled by four hogs.
Sound familiar? OK, except for the hogs. Unlike Santa, the Hogfather harks back
to more primitive times, when Hogswatch was a sun festival, and he still has
some of those trappings.
Susan, Death's granddaughter |
The Hogfather, like
Death, is an anthropomorphic personality. That is, people’s belief in him has
generated an actual corporeal representation of what is otherwise a natural
force. In the Hogfather’s case, it’s the belief of children that keep him
alive. We know from Small Gods,
where the great god Om was reduced to a powerless tortoise because he had but
one believer, what happens when belief fades. When people stop believing, gods
die…
When the Hogfather
dies, the consequences are more terrible than disappointed children.
If the Hogfather
dies, the sun will not rise.
In The Hogfather,
the Guild of Assassins has been engaged by the Auditors of Reality (kind of
self-explanatory really – you could see how the Discworld’s existence might
annoy them a tad!) to eliminate the Hogfather. This task is assigned to Mr
Teatime, of whom Lord Downey, head of the assassins says:
“We took pity on him because he'd lost both parents at an early age. I think that, on reflection, we should have wondered a bit more about that.”
Indeed….
Mr Teatime’s
cunning plan is to kill the Hogfather by preventing children believing in him.
This he does by breaking into the Tooth Fairy’s domain and seizing the stash of
teeth, which he uses to control all the children. This is a reference to many
old beliefs that witches and the like can use a part of you, a tooth, some
hair, nail clippings and so forth, to work their will on you.
And it works. As
belief in the Hogfather wanes, spare belief starts flapping around, to
the point where even the mention of something, like an eater of Socks or Verucca
Gnome, causes a glingleglingleglingle sound signalling the creation of
that creature – because someone believes in it, and as we know, belief gives
life. And we all believe in the Eater of Socks, right? That’s the reason we can
only ever find one sock from a pair. Where does the other one go? We
never find it. It must have been the Eater of Socks!
Death as the Hogfather |
In an attempt to make
children believe in the Hogfather, despite Mr Teatime, Death delivers the
Hogfather’s presents, being sure to be seen in a long red cloak and a white
beard. Imagine, a skeleton with a beard… I’m not sure it would have the desired
effect! The role isn’t precisely one that comes naturally to him:
"ER...HO. HO. HO."
I suspect that the
cheerful ‘Ho Ho Ho’ lacks a little something when delivered in a leaden voice
that sounds like crypt doors slamming. Even on paper it comes across as a
little grim.
It falls to Susan,
Death’s granddaughter (who wishes she was anything but and would like to be
left to live a normal life) to find the real Hogfather. At the Castle of Bones
(wow, I think I like the North Pole better!) she meets the Oh God of Hangovers,
also created by the excess belief floating around. His name is Bilious and he
gets the hangover every time the God of Wine gets drunk. No wonder he runs
around saying ‘oh me!’ so much (think about it for a minute if you don’t get
it). Poor chap, I have to say I can’t help but laugh at his predicament. He is
one of my favourites in this book.
Bilious, Oh God of Hangovers |
While probably not one of my favourite Discworld books, The
Hogfather is, like all of them, entertaining and hilariously funny. Susan
is an interesting practical figure who takes no nonsense from monsters (Death’s
granddaughter, remember?) and Death is always worth a laugh for his awkward
attempts to be something he’s not. The Wizards of Unseen University make an
appearance with Hex, their ‘computer’, which is always guaranteed a laugh. Kind
of like watching a bunch of people who really don’t understand the first thing
about computers try and make one work.
I’d give this four stars out of five. Now I wonder where I
packed it… it is Christmas and I should read it!
This will be my last post of the year. Tomorrow we are
moving into the house we just built (which if you are interested you can see
here). I have the internet organised, but with the holiday season, who knows
when it will be connected.